We all need a support network. And our networks typically come from a variety of sources: family, self, experts, neighbors, teachers, and friends.
However, I actually find the idea of BIG networks of support overwhelming.
Maybe that’s just me, or perhaps that’s my highly sensitive, introverted tendency shining through…
I’m a 1:1 coffee date, shopping buddy kind of gal.
So while I do subscribe the to idea of ‘it takes a Village’, I don’t think you need to hang with the entire Village all at once.
I’d much rather move to a Village and then find my ‘grocery store friend’.
A ‘grocery store friend’ is the one you don’t mind sharing just about everything with: your hopes and dreams and fears and pitfalls and quirks.
- She’s the one who will take a 90 minute drive to IKEA on a whim with you, just because “OMG holiday merchandise is in stock!!”
- She’s the friend you can count on to let loose with you and allow your inner child to roam free.
- She is the one friend you know is telling the truth because she’ll be the first to tell you if you’re being brilliant or call you out if you’re being just plain stupid.
- She’s the one who doesn’t mind if your daughter is hanging out with you both in the back seat of the car, picking her nose and interrupting your conversation every 5 seconds.
And as the name implies, she is the friend who makes your weekly grocery trip, one of the most mundane adulting tasks, much more fun because you always go together.
Your ‘grocery store friend’ is the adult version of your college dorm buddy. You can come over to her wearing no bra, and dawning your snowflake PJs and there’s no judgment whatsoever.
Perhaps you’ll even dedicate an entire evening to crafting together in leggings and hoodies because there’s no need to impress anyone.
And you know if you show up on her doorstep uninvited asking for a cup of sugar, a hug, advice, or 20 minutes of childcare, she’ll say YES in a heartbeat.
Somehow you never seem to tire of one another, but when you do (because hello…introvertedness), you both know it with out any words exchanged and you take a break from each other…for a few hours.
Your ‘grocery store friend’ checks up on the things you say you’re going to do, helps push you along in your commitments, and calls you out when you’re slacking (but in a super gentle yet firm kind of way).
Finding this friend, as a grown up, is not easy.
Somewhere in the process of becoming ‘an adult’ we seem to lose the notion that having a friend like this is possible. Once we get married, start a family, have a kid (or a few), we think our life has to start and stop at home.
And although your family might look just as you dreamed it could, perhaps you’re frustrated because some days you feel a bit lost and lonely. Many times, your spouse or your kids will fill this void of connection beautifully. But sometimes they won’t and it’s ok to expand outside of your family unit and allow in deep meaningful friendships too.
That’s the hard part though.
Parenthood can be this complicated dichotomy of both falling out of alignment with ourselves and coming into a greater self-awareness as the ebb and flow of our days shift and change.
Maybe you join a play group, a moms meet up, a book club, or meet new neighbors at the local park every now and again.
But like dating, you find not every friend you meet is your cup of tea.
They have different parenting styles, hobbies, interests, personalities, families, past experiences.
So there’s a lot of surface conversation, or gossip, or chit chat, while your kids play and explore and experience the world. But that’s not what you long for. You want to find that person who is willing to let their guard down and talk about the deeper meanings of life while simultaneously busting a groove to the 90s music blaring on the radio in the background as you explore your crafty, creative passions together.
I wish I could tell you the magic formula to finding your ‘grocery store friend’.
But there really isn’t one. It takes time, and patience, and the willingness to let your guard down time and time again instead of getting down on yourself when you see all the amazing villages of women on social media sharing their amazing friendships and group adventures.
Is it cheesy if I tell you, I want to be your virtual ‘grocery store’ friend this year? I do!
You can learn more about how here.
We won’t literally go to the grocery store together. But I want to be that person you can lean on, talk about the deeper meanings in life, and get a bit goofy with as we tackle your most pressing creative goal together. We can do the hard, mundane tasks of adulting. But it’s more fun when you have a ‘grocery store friend’ by your side cheering you on.